While You Were NOT Sleeping

"I'll sleep when I die!" - Lady Gaga

I am proud to announce...I have made a significant discovery which will advance science and help humankind.TA DA!

"Food for thought" makes you fat.

Let me explain.If you think too much, you most likely will not sleep well.

Too Many Thoughts

Inadequate Sleep = Too Much Cortisol

AND Too Much Cortisol = FAT

Are you (like me) a "Type A" mess even in your dreams?Do you find yourself awake nights... pondering the universe, searching for the meaning of reality TV, and contemplating the price of espresso beans?Thoughts that can plague you at 1:30 a.m.

Less isn't more. Humor is more. What, if anything, does this mean?

Jerry Lewis says he wants to kill Joan Rivers. Who doesn't? She must be doing something right.

Cats don't need opposable thumbs. They have opposable natures. True or false?

Is there a refrigerator magnet museum? If not, why not?

Is the puppy of a wiener dog called a weenie? By anyone over the age of five?

Why isn't there a sugar-free, chocolate-flavored toothpaste?

Did I forget to pay the cable bill again?

In conclusion... sleep deprivation is due to a way too busy little brain.Guess what? While you weren't sleeping, you gained five pounds.Join me and quiet your mind...Type "A" couple - Portlandia's Kath & Dave I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License