Women Gone Hog-Wild
Rumor has it this post is sponsored by Amberen
Traditionally, much has been made of men and their competitive spirit via sports, business, politics, sex, and money. If men could menstruate, it would be a series on ESPN. Gloria Steinem put it well many moons ago in her popular essay "If Men Could Menstruate."Of course, most women are as highly competitive in the same arenas as men - and then some. For instance, like Fashionistas flocking to a Ferragamo sale rack, women who focus fanatically on health, fitness, and anti-aging have their own niche areas of competitive engagement. I know for a fact some have hired flab coaches for the Forever Young Olympics.Move over, Venus and Serena Williams. The Baby Boomer preoccupation with eradicating all signs of aging is setting a prickly precedent for all of us. Phooey on them! Next thing you know, they'll tell us that death is avoidable. Don't hold your breath.When it comes to feelings and bodily functions, women often compete openly in a game of one-upsmanship. Their comments vacillate between empowerment and defeat:#10 I gained 55 pounds after my last baby - and I adopted.#9 I beat you. I haven't had a french fry since I was fifteen.#8 I’ve been on a cleanse since my first-born.#7 Forget my belly fat and ass sag, I spend 5 hours at the gym every day.#6 I’ve done yoga since I was in the womb. I was born on a rubber mat during The Downward Dog. #5 I have more wrinkles. Jeez, look at my neck. Like rings around a California Redwood.#4 Not that I'm bragging, but my sex drive is better than Madonna's in her dreams.#3 You know that book, “Everybody Poops?” Not true. #2 I’m more stressed than you. Look - my hair is falling out.#1 I’m more tired than you. I haven’t slept a wink since I kicked Twinkies cold turkey. NOW with health APPS on your smart phone, you can track your sleep, food, and exercise every minute of the day. YIPPEE! You can compete with yourself 24-7.So whether you’re in “The Amazing Race” on CBS or merely The Global Rat Race that is Life, YOU GO, GIRL! Don't sweat it! Amberen
I Feel Your Pain by Barb Best is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License
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