Escape From New York

No place epitomizes the American experience and the American spirit more than New York City.

- Michael Bloomberg

I have a love-hate relationship with NYC. I lived there for years and still spend a good deal of time there now. Once a New Yorker, always a New Yorker.It's a crazy, yet amazing place. Sometimes it is amazing in it's sheer lunacy. It's grand and impressive, yet the quality of life can seem fundamentally impoverished at times. It's heroic. It's tough and romantic. It's never boring. The people are legendary. They got chutzpah and pluck out the wazoo. The city ain't for wimps.My daughter, fresh out of college, has lived there for the past two years. To survive and master living in Manhattan is often a tribute to one's resilience. Here are some of the challenges encountered (the ones I know about, that is):

Triple-digit heatwaves with humidity thicker than your average politician. Humidity should be classified a WMD.

An earthquake. WTF?

A tropical storm with near gale force winds while working a music festival. Made Woodstock look like Kiddie Craft Camp.

A hurricane. Sandy brought a week without power, cell phones, internet service, and heat. However, this also presented a rewarding opportunity to help others in the community.

A terrorist plot to blow up the NYC subway system.

Being stalked by a homeless drug addict who lives on the corner.

Over 116 "Deaths by Subway" in the last year alone. This includes victims randomly being pushed onto the tracks and hit by trains and/or electrocuted - apparently for the sport of it.

While on the "L" subway train under the East River, a power outage. Are you afraid of the dark and claustrophobic? It's your lucky day!

Cat burglars targeting apartments in the building.

A mouse in the kitchen. Disturbing... especially considering the high rent.

Mayor Bloomberg's soda ban.

A fatal crane accident.

A terrorist plot to blow up The Federal Reserve Building on Wall Street across from office building.

Uninvited dinner guests - roaches on steroids. "That's okay, I wasn't hungry anyway."

Promotional visits from The Real New Jersey Housewives. What happens in Jersey does NOT stay in Jersey.

Occupy Wall Street/Union Square Chapter protesters vandalizing apartment building with red paint.

Lindsay Lohan, the clubs, the legal shenanigans, and the celebrity media circus.

Stuck

elevator.

Scromboid food poisoning from "The Special of the Day" once frozen tuna steaks. A weekend on and over the toilet - now, isn't that special?

Toxic cigarette smoke on every street. In your face nasty. Why are scads of well-educated, enlightened elites of Manhattan smoking themselves to an early death? Is this the real health hazard in NYC - not Dr. Pepper and Yahoo?

Filming of Lena Dunham's "Girls" in the neighborhood - and the necessary large number of catering trucks.

A baker's dozen fundraising visits from the President and the ensuing dire traffic consequences.

Bed bugs at a music video film shoot. They have agents.

An appearance from "Pretty Little Liars" actress and "Bongo Jeans" rep Lucy Hale. This came accompanied by a sweltering mob of star-struck tweens (and their cool moms) lined up and camped out around the block for the day.

Weird little worms hatching in the bathroom grout. Mr. Clean, you need to bulk up - you're getting soft, buddy.

A terrorist plot by well-heeled neighbors to blow up Washington Square Park. "May I borrow a cup of fertilizer?"

A trip to the ER and a week in the hospital due to a previously undiagnosed autoimmune illness. Priceless.

On moving day, traffic paralysis and road closures due to the largest ever Gay Pride Parade & Block Party in the world... ever. Say that four times while the meter is ticking and the rental truck is stuck in Hoboken.