Worry Warts: What to Kvetch About in 2020
What to Worry About in 2020
Do you worry?
Just in case you need some assistance in thinking up fresh new things to worry about...
I am at your service.
I overthink. I fret. I ruminate. Yes, I engage in tireless philosophical inquiry - so you don't have to.
Here is my list for the new year.
Knock yourself out!
Enjoy!
*******************
New Year, New Worries, Anxieties, and Fears
- Porch Pirates Beware, Matey - even if you don't have a porch. BTW this is a shadow industry of Amazon Prime.
- Gluten-free everything
- World War III
- THE election
- Your friends are going all Marie Kondo on you. So much for "Shop 'til You Drop" trips to the Mall.
- Boomers are blowing their retirement savings on pot, hips, and knees
- Alien abductions caught on doorbell cams
- Wood-inspired flooring Knock on wood. Is there a shortage of real wood?
- You don't have the new iPhone and you never will.
- Neo-tribal tattooing
- Fake food like bone broth oatmeal, collagen-spiked mocktails, celeriac kombucha tacos, and plant-based faux cheese burgers. Hold the fries. Better yet, hold your nose.
- You don't own a single slice of Apple stock :-(
Bonus * Insights for 2020
- The ink that is no longer being used to print books... now appears in the humongous tattoos on your neighbor's humongous ass.
- Suggested names for the next Kardashian baby: “Kash” “Ka-Ching” "Kitschy"
- Again, who needs resolutions when you have worries?
