I Feel Your Pain - Technical Support

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Krandeep: Thank you for contacting Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable. Give me a minute while I access your account.Me: (grumble, grumble)Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. Hello Ms. Best. How are you today?Me: In a nutshell... fairly frustrated.Krandeep: Great to know that.Me: If I miss the RHONY finale this evening, I'll never speak to Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable again. I'll have to steal - I mean stream - all my precious TV shows on the internet like the dead broke - I mean budget-minded - Millennials.Krandeep: Okay, thank you for that information.Me: This is the fifth time I've called this week.Krandeep: Thank you for your loyalty to Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable.Me: Loyalty has nothing to do with it. Good thing you don't control my cell phone.Krandeep: (sinister laughter)Me: I hate you, but I have an emergency here. The cable box doesn't work. The signal is jumbled.Krandeep: I understand you're experiencing some issues with the cable card we installed last week.Krandeep: I am going to send a refresh signal to your equipment.Krandeep: First, you will have to power cycle the cable box.Me: Power cycle?Krandeep: Unplug and replug.Krandeep: One moment please.Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. Make sure the tuning adapter acquires network lock and is solidly illuminated.Me: Uh... which is the tuning adapter?Krandeep: The MTR700.Me: ???Krandeep: Please let me know when the process is finished.Me: I pay Time Warner-Verizon-Sprint-Charter-Cox Cable over $200 a month so I don't need to know what an MTR700 is... let alone be on intimate terms with one.Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. I was on five other calls.Krandeep: Is the yellow indicator light on your MTR700 blinking?Me: What is my MTR700?Krandeep: That is correct. The MTR700 is the tuning adapter.Me: I see no blinking lights - except for the flashes on my eyeballs from my impending migraine.Krandeep: Ms. Best. I am going to break down and send a technician to your house, in order to check what this issue is.Krandeep: Let me check it, please.Me: They could have been here by now. The Real Housewives of New York City waits for no one!Krandeep: Thank you for waiting. The soonest appointment will be for next Friday between 3:00 p.m. and never.Me: Never? Never?Krandeep: I sorry. I meant nine o'clock. Believe it or not, English isn't my first language.Me: Never. Never sounds good.