7 Christmas Gifts I DON'T Want

What gifts don't YOU want? In the spirit of LESS materialism... Thank you, but please DON'T buy me the following:*A sexy Santa gift... especially if I've been naughty. What's with the "We wish you a slutty Xmas!" sentiment? Watch out - Frosty the Snowman is so hot and bothered, he may melt.*An e-card with a slide share of cutesy farm animals singing Christmas carols. Stay out of my inbox! It's messy enough in there.*Your hastily self-published knock-off of 50 Shades of Grey. My head is swimming from the tsunami of self-proclaimed literature out there.*Yesterday's technology. That includes a cell phone disguised as a rotary phone. How perverse!*A truck full of caramelized popcorn in a janitor's drum. Delivered by a forklift?*A "Pajamagram." You can dress it up anyway you want, but it's still pajamas for Christmas. (Thanks, grandma.)*A Rubik's Cube for the Blind. A Rubik's Cube for the non-blind. Equally annoying cube.