If You Give a Four-Year-Old a Cell Phone

If You Give a Four-Year-Old a Cell Phone…

She’ll want to watch the movie Frozen on it.

And if she watches the movie Frozen on the phone, she’ll also want to watch Frozen 2.

She’ll need to have a salty snack like popcorn or cheese puffs handy.

Chances are, she’ll want a cold drink, too. Perhaps pomegranate juice.

Then it’s likely she’ll need to use the potty during the movie.

So, she’ll take the phone into the bathroom with her.

Oops! She may just drop the phone in the toilet. It happens.

Likely, the plumber will have to come.

Even if the phone is retrieved, it is destroyed.

This will cause untold trauma.

This early phone use will undoubtedly curse her forever.

She’ll be addicted to screens for the rest of her life.

As a teen, she’ll go out of her way to take a selfie with a shark… and lose her right hand, left arm and nose.

If she’s bitten by a shark,

Her grandmother will have a heart attack and drop dead.

Then she’ll feel guilty for the first time in forever and not be able to let it go, let it go, let it go.

And she’ll just want to be left alone and watch Frozen on her phone.

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