May I Suggest a New Hobby?

May I suggest a new hobby?

  

These are a few hobbies I'm seriously considering...

Sleep Eating

Sleep can be oh so boring, so what better way to liven it up? Go on a groggy 2:00 a.m. binge with a banana bundt cake or a bucket of fried chicken - all without the guilt. Sleep eating combines two of my favorite activities... sleeping and eating!

Competitive dog grooming

It's also pet therapy. Everyone gets a sloppy kiss. Also a few bites and scratches.

Ramen Noodle Sculpture

Remember - don't overcook the noodles! Caution: This hybrid hobby is for advanced foodies and skillful platers only. Floppy noodles are unhappy noodles.

Exotic Pet Photography

Beware - this activity includes pets of all stripes and spots... snakes, rats, baboons, an occasional tarantula or two.

Extreme Travel

More than a relaxing hobby - it's a death wish. Bungee jumping off the Victoria Falls Bridge into the crocodile-filled Zambezi river, swimming with the sharks and piranha in the Pantanal wetlands, hang gliding in Antarctica. These excursions are not for the delicate or your average chicken sh*t tourist.

Cookie Dough Carving

More fun than carving soap, plus we can eat our artistic masterpieces as we go. Eatable art - just what the world needs! Phooey on finger paints. Try Pudding Paints! Mmm. Finger lickin' good.

The Chinese Art of Bamboo Drifting

Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Beats pole dancing.