Going On Vacation? A Message From Your Cat

This is a message (heh, a threat you say?) from me, your imperious cat.

CATastrophe

Planning on leaving me (your cherished feline pet) at home while you go on a business trip or (how dare you) a fancy vacation is a provocation at best, and, at worst, an act of war. May I remind you... Actions have consequences!

My expectations are simple

Any pet sitters (or as I call them - my personal assistants) you hire will have to be approved by moi. I will not accept a total stranger, a mindless teen, or an idiot relative. You will have to fork the big bucks for a seasoned professional.I will need the usual creature comforts: plenty of poached wild salmon, tuna treats, filtered drinking water, and fresh (not the cheap packaged stuff) catnip. A few new frou-frou toys would be nice.I will be using your overpriced, purple velvet, hand embroidered, imported meditation cushion as a cat bed, and - if I'm in the mood - a Porta-Potty.There may be some acting out - I may have to spray the sofa cushions and use the Monet as a scratching post.Expect some attitude when you return home (the scene of your crime).The silent treatment and the cold shoulder will be part of your punishment. Suffice it to say, there will be more hissing than purring for awhile.You can always "talk to the tail."Although I am pretty pissed at you, I will save up my hairballs and dead mice for you. You can thank me later. Remember... I am the master. You are the slave. (MEOW) THANK YOU for subscribing to "I Feel Your Pain!" and reading it on Alltop.com and on Facebook. YOU are the BEST!