Holiday Hangover: Take Two & Don't Call Me

Hooray!

You survived the loaded sugar cookies, the high octane eggnog, the irksome family get-togethers, those sad Christmas sweaters, the compulsive spending, the once-in-a-century cyclone bomb blizzard and the mall shootings.

The holidays did not kill you, and so you are stronger.

However, the wine and the whining wore you down. You are frazzled to the funny bone.

In desperate need of a Revelry Rehab?

TAKE TWO

If in physical pain, take two Advil or CBT or rutabagas. Repeat as needed.

If stuffed like a sugar daddy’s pig, embark upon two weeks of intermittent fasting — nothing like severe deprivation to curb those pesky cravings.

If you have been chugging too much alcohol - HO HO HO - you must rest your pancreas and poor liver. Perhaps it is high time to become reacquainted with (Ugh) W-A-T-E-R as a beverage?

Too much boisterous merrymaking? Need a cold slap of reality? Just watch two minutes of the news.

If humorless, take two HO HO HOs and butt call the neighbor’s cat a hearty Happy New Year!

If your time tank is dangerously empty, you are in need of some serious “alone time.” Take two — two minutes, two hours, two days - whatever you can claim.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Excuse the balloons!